NFL Gallimaufry

Some thoughts on yesterday's action...

*The 2009 Giants sure had their struggles, but I thought they had a lot more pride and fight than what they showed. However, I am strangely not that bothered by this loss for two reasons: One, I had already pretty much written them off after the Eagles loss a couple weeks ago. And two, if they don't even bother to show up in an elimination game, at home against a 6-win opponent, then they obviously don't care. And if they don't care, why should I? So 2009 is a loss, but I am confident that Jerry Reese will make the kind of offseason moves it takes to get back on track for next year. (Defensive Coordinator Bill Sheridan being fired is one obvious move.) I think I can live off of the 2007 championship, the greatest in the history of sports, for a year or two longer...but I would love to see another title run in the near future.

*I'm very disappointed in the Colts for not being interested in winning at home against the Jets. It's one thing if you're 10-0 and you've clinched the division, and you rest some starters with six games still left in the regular season. But at 14-0, and leading 9-3 at halftime, just 90 minutes away from a perfect season, they take their foot off the gas? I wonder how many more times the Colts have to go perfect the first 12 to 14 weeks, ease up for the rest of the regular season, then lose in the divisional round, before they learn? And correct me if I'm wrong, but the one year they did win it all, 2006, didn't they go 12-4 and play hard through the end of the regular season?

*If there's any team that knows how to get their fans' hopes up, only to crush them in a new creative way every season, it's the Jets. So, with this team in control of its playoff destiny, I look for them to come from ahead to lose to the Bengals on Sunday night. Maybe by a missed field goal, stupid personal foul, or a Sanchez pick-six. Hey, they're the Jets, they'll probably find a way that's none of the above! So as you can see I suddenly find myself being very anti-Jets, as I feel they don't deserve to be in this position, especially at the expense of Pittsburgh - a team that actually can do something in the playofffs if healthy. But, as Clint Eastwood says in Unforgiven, "Deserving ain't got nothing to do with it."

*As for the Steelers, they do need a win plus a lot of help...but they should have thought of that while they were losing to the Raiders and Browns a few weeks ago.

It should be an intriguing final weekend of the regular season. And coming soon, 2009 NFL Preview revisited.

Incorrect regional grammar runs deep

Let me start by saying I am a grammar absolutist. Not a relativist. (Nor a nihilist.) There is a right way, and a wrong way, to pronounce something, no matter where you live. Roof, not "rough." Oregon, not "Or-e-gone." And it's Prescott, not "Pres-kitt."

Now, I don't expect to enact change with this one because it's so ingrained in most locals, but I feel it's worth bringing up. Near as I can tell it's a California thing that sort of spread here, but what's the deal with Arizonans putting definite articles in front of numbered freeways? I have lived in this state longer than I haven't, and it never sounded right. It never became grammatically correct either.

Even some folks who came here from another region have picked up on this mistake. Whereas they used to take 287, to Route 1, to get to work, they now take "the 51 to the 10." For people who once had it right, only to come here and be convinced to speak incorrectly, the mistake is even more egregious.

Oh well. I guess it's just one of those little things that doesn't truly matter for anything in life, yet if you focus on it too much it will drive you crazy.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to be getting to the work, which is just located just off of the 24th Street and the Camelback Road.

Wow, thanks for the honesty

Now Tiger Woods has come clean - only after being caught, of course. Among the egregious details are his cheating on his wife while she was pregnant. And how about the voicemail message to one of his mistresses that Us Magazine got a hold of, where he tells her to take her name off her phone because his wife might try to call? Classy. Also, for the entertainment value alone this Taiwanese Youtube video is worth watching - it's a computer simulation of what may have happened the night of the shady car accident. It's terrific from about the 50 second mark forward, complete with wife's face-slap, wife chasing his car on foot (a la T-1000 in Terminator 2), and telephone pole collision.

Way to go, Urkel. No credit for admitting the truth after first trying to cover it up. Going forward, I can only hope he has the kind of remorse and humility it takes to repair a marriage and family.

And yes, it does matter how sports celebrities act. Now more than ever, we need positive role models in prominent positions. One of the byproducts of guys like Tim Duncan and Peyton Manning winning championships, even if they don't play for the teams we happen to root for, is that these kinds of athletes are in the spotlight more. For this reason alone, I hope the Duncans and Mannings of the world continue to win. (My favorite squeaky clean role model athlete of all, Mariano Rivera, certainly took care of his part this year.)

Well, they do play 82 games

The Knicks beat the Suns last night, 126-99. Had a 3-14 team ever previously beaten a 14-3 team, by that wide a margin before? I don't quite have the intrigue level to do this research, but I can't say it's that surprising either. With so many games on the regular season schedule - and this is even more true with baseball - it's impossible for the players to care about every one of them.

Another plea for feisty journalism

Regarding this Tiger Woods phantom "car accident" at 2 AM the morning after Thanksgiving, just outside Woods's driveway...I'm going to make the same plea to the TMZs and National Enquirers of the world, that I did to the sports media when the Bill Belichick/Patriots "Spygate" scandal was covered up by the NFL. And that plea is, Please, please keep pursuing this. Don't just let them sweep it under the rug. Of course the police aren't going to investigate further. But don't let the precious, chosen one skate here.

I really don't have a personal ax to grind against the guy. I just kind of felt pushed in the non-Tiger direction by all the worship of him that goes on. It's the same reason people find Tim Tebow or Brett Favre annoying. It's not their fault they're overexposed or gushed about. In fact, I bet if the exaggerations were dialed back maybe 10%, people could appreciate them for what they are, rather than feel like they have to push back against waves of media fawning over them. And for me, with Woods that effect is multiplied by how I don't believe golf should be paid attention as a major sport at all. (But that was another post.)

So yeah, all that...plus I simply can't stand cover-ups.

The "Zorn Face," and On Temporarily Bad vs. Perpetually Bad

Great article by Czabe today about the "Zorn Face," and the troubles of his hometown Redskins. It almost - and I stress "almost" - makes me feel better about the demise of the Giants this season.

While it's true that, as Bill Parcells used to say, you are what your record says you are, I believe there are different levels of bad in the NFL. Both the Giants and the Redskins have lost 4 games in a row and are spiraling downward. I hope I'm wrong, but I think the Giants' season is lost. But the Giants are a solid, sound organization and they have what it takes to be back in the mix soon, even if 2009 is a wash.

The Redskins on the other hand, have so many issues that it will take several years to rebuild, and that will only be possible with a change in the way things are done in management. (You then have a 4 or 5 team grouping below the Redskins, that are in such disarray it might take a decade or more to clean up, but they are not the focus of this post.)

World Champs!

It is wonderful to see the Yankees win the championship - their 27th - and their first in nine years. It seemed fitting that Pettitte started the game, Rivera came on in relief, and Jeter and Posada played prominent roles, just as it went for many playoff games as this version of the Yankees' dynasty began some 13 years ago.

It was a great series and the Phillies were worthy adversaries, but it was clear that the Yankees were the dominant team. Maybe this team will turn into another branch of the Yankee dynasty, and maybe it won't, but either way I will sure enjoy this one on its own merits.

Regarding the series itself, it is easy to second-guess a manager for decisions or moves that did not work out, but rarely do you hear praise for moves that do. So, a job well done by Joe Girardi on the Yanks' 3-man rotation working out perfectly for the duration of the playoffs.

Also, a tip of the cap to Fox for their excellent coverage. Particularly the isolation on each Yankee player with a different camera, for the final out. I thought that was a really neat touch.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to listening to We Are The Champions on a loop...what was the name of the band who recorded that song again?

In bad economy, too much hubris a major turn-off

It's amazing how some businesses have the moxie to continue to charge draconian prices, or even raise them, in this economic climate. And when I say economic climate, I don't mean the one that's portrayed in the media (super-horrible worst thing ever), but the realistic one (kinda bad; not terrible, but certainly not helped by aforementioned media sensationalism).

I feel cable companies are the best example. It seems they are just begging people to yank it out of their homes. I've said this before about movie theater prices ($10 per person in this era where you could buy the DVD and watch it in high-definition forever for about that much), and it's almost stunning the amount of hubris it takes to price yourself out of a market and assume no one will leave you because they simply MUST have cable. Well not me. I recently bought a house and for the first time in over 5 years, was faced with the decision of whether or not to pay the current rate of over $50 a month for cable. I said no.

I know where technology is going. So much is online now - ABC, Fox, CBS, and NBC upload most of their prime time shows, and even some of my favorite cable shows like South Park, Rescue Me and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, are also available. Not to mention everything people put on Youtube. And there's Netflix. In fact, I think the only thing on cable these days that can't be worked around, is a live, cable-televised sporting event. And for that, I submit just any bar or restaurant.

One of my friends has canceled his cable service in the past few months. I have 9 friends so sure it's a small sample size, but hey, counting myself that's 20% of people I know that have said no to cable lately.

I think the backlash is delayed a bit, but in the not too distant future we're going to see record numbers of people cut down on this entertainment expense, from companies that either simply don't understand their market, or have the heap of arrogance it takes to ignore it.

Jumping the gun

At about noon yesterday during the Vikings-Steelers game on Fox, the local Phoenix affiliate, Fox 10, ran a promo for their sports show, featuring Jude LaCava.

LaCava: "Coming up on Sports Wrap Up Tonight (or whatever the exact title of the show), it's the Yankees and the Phillies in the World Series. We'll preview the matchup, and blah blah blah..."

Nice and accurate, except for one problem...this was a good five hours before the first pitch of Angels-Yanks ALCS Game 6 was scheduled to be thrown.

So either someone at Fox 10 has a sports almanac telling him the participants of the next 50 World Series that he traveled back in time to give himself, or Jude LaCava didn't want to come in on a Sunday so he recorded recaps of several different versions of things that could happen.

I'm reminded of the old SNL skit where Dana Carvey plays Tom Brokaw, and Brokaw wants to go away for the summer and has to record all kinds of news stories with crazy scenarios, just in case. "Former President Gerald Ford dead today...mauled by a circus lion in a convenience store."

Pro athletes to the rest of us: "Don't try this at home."

Something I don't recommend is timing yourself in either the 100 meters, or 40 yard dash. You'll only be disappointed to find that you're a lot slower than you think you are. It happened to me this fall, as I began getting ready for what I vaguely call "Sports Season" - the time in Arizona spanning approximately mid-October to late-March, when people can actually perform physical activity outdoors, including sports if they care to organize them.

I felt pretty good going out to my local Community College track and field facility to time myself. I even felt fast as I tore up the track. I looked at my cell phone (it has a stop watch function - fancy!), expecting a 100 meter time in the high 11s or low 12s. (Not in the 10s though - I'm not that delusional.) Then I saw it: 14.2 seconds. What a wake up call. In fairness, it was my first sprint in many months, and I have since gotten my 100 time all the way down to 13.5. But man, that pales in comparison to people who run fast for a living. I'm not even going to publicize my 40 time, but rest assured, it's slower than any NFL lineman.

My immediate reaction was to be embarrassed and disappointed, but then I realized a few things that made me feel better. One, NFL players are among the best athletes in the world. Two, even the 300-pound linemen are fast; they only appear slow compared to the breathtaking speed of the running backs, receivers, defensive backs, and most linebackers. Three, these men's whole existence revolves around being fast. It's their career. Of course they are genetically gifted, but they also devote their livelihood to sports. If any of us were put in a scenario where we could quit our jobs and just focus on running the 40 for a while, I'm sure we would all get a little faster.

So, this Sunday when I settle in to watch football, I'll be reminded of just how wide the gap is between professional athletes and the average guy. And I'll just be satisfied to be as fast as the friends with whom I play sports.

Whew!

What a relief, as the Yankees escaped last night with a 2-0 series lead over the Twins. I think Joe Girardi made a couple of questionable managerial decisions in the game (waiting too long to bring in Rivera, and letting Damaso Marte anywhere near the mound in the playoffs), but those were masked by the dramatic, clutch homers by Rodriguez in the 9th and Teixeira in the 11th.

A sweep sure would be nice. It would remind me of the kind of confidence I had in this team in the late 90s when they'd match up with Texas in the first round and I'd say, "Yeah, they'll take care of these chumps, no problem." In first rounds since, they've either had to sweat it out (Oakland 2001, Minnesota 2004), or were outright upset by a lesser team (Anaheim 2002, Anaheim 2005, Detroit 2006, Cleveland 2007).

Of course, the Angels concern me bigtime, as the Yanks can't seem to beat them even when they are the better team, and the Angels are leading Boston 2-0.

So maybe this newfound Yankee playoff confidence will be short-lived. But, that's what makes playoff baseball so exciting - as Czabe says, it's more random than a game of plinko.

The Admiral

It was almost easy to overlook this past weekend, but David Robinson was inducted to the Basketball Hall of Fame. A once in a generation player, someone who served his country, and a great person by all accounts I've seen or heard. Not many of his stardom level are so humble or generous, and he sets a perfect example of the kind of persona a sports superstar should display.

P.U.

Have you ever seen a worse haul of regional games than the following?

CBS, Early - Broncos at Bengals
FOX, Early - Cowboys at Buccaneers
FOX, Late - 49ers at Cardinals

Eh, who am I kidding, it's football and it's week 1. I'll probably watch at least one of these. Though my NFL Films DVD collection might really come in handy as the day wears on.

Cheapskates

The Pittsburgh Pirates have cliched their 17th consecutive losing season, setting a record that applies to all major sports. What rubs me the wrong way, is how Pirates' ownership continues to allow the Yankees, and perhaps the Red Sox, Cubs, and Mets as well (I wasn't able to find the official 2009 luxury tax threshold), to subsidize them, while they simply pocket the cash rather than spending it on their team. The Pirates have been "rebuilding" for 17 years now, and make no effort to put a good product on the field. The fans of Pittsburgh really deserve better than this - better than an ownership group that are essentially the welfare queens of sports. It's so blatant it's almost like they're flaunting it. "We're going to take this handout every year, and there's nothing you can do about it." The Marlins and Padres are also notoriously cheap, but at least they make a calculated run at the postseason every 10 years or so.

About a month ago I mentioned what should be done for the next NBA collective bargaining agreement. Here, I'll plead for both the abolition of the luxury tax (as clearly it isn't working - unless you consider making pennypinching owners who don't care about winning rich, working), and the institution of a salary floor. This won't be easy of course - it looks like a maximum of 4 teams pay the luxury tax, while the rest benefit, and most owners would agree to a team salary minimum.

2009 NFL Preview

Time again to roll out an NFL season preview! Here is how I did last season.

2009 Predicted NFL Standings

AFC EAST

New England 12-4
NY Jets 9-7
Miami 8-8
Buffalo 8-8

TOTAL: 37-27 (Last season: 38-26)

Tom Brady is back - and while New England is no longer allowed to cheat, they'll resume dominance of the division. Miami took a big jump last year, and whenever a team takes a meteoric, unexpected rise in one season, they fall back to earth the next. (I base this on absolutely no tangible data.) Mark Sanchez will throw less interceptions than Brett Favre for the Jets, but they still don't have a complete team to challenge for the title. Buffalo is better with Terrell Owens, who will behave himself, but they've got a long way to go as well.

AFC NORTH

Pittsburgh 11-5
Baltimore 10-6*
Cincinnati 6-10
Cleveland 5-11

TOTAL: 32-32 (Last season: 31-32-1)

The Steelers and Ravens will both be slightly down this year, but still leaps and bounds above the Bengals and Browns. On paper, there seems to be no reason the Steelers can't repeat. But, after their Super Bowl XL triumph they struggled a bit, and I think we could see the same thing in 2009.

AFC SOUTH

Tennessee 11-5
Indianapolis 10-6*
Jacksonville 8-8
Houston 7-9

TOTAL: 36-28 (Last season: 38-26)

The Jaguars are improved, but I still don't see them as reaching the level of the Titans or Colts. The Colts take a step backward without their coach and leader, Tony Dungy. But any team led by a healthy Peyton Manning has a pretty high "floor" for wins in a season. The Texans are nothing special besides Andre Johnson, but they will be competitive.

AFC WEST

San Diego 9-7
Denver 5-11
Kansas City 5-11
Oakland 3-13

TOTAL: 22-42 (Last season: 23-41)

I don't see much changing from last season here. San Diego will again win by default, over two teams in transition and a third that resembles the baker on Sesame Street falling down a flight of steps while carrying 10 chocolate cakes (the legendary Jim Henson - here's the video, watch the last 15 seconds, it's totally worth it.).

----------------------

NFC EAST

Dallas 11-5
NY Giants 11-5*
Philadelphia 11-5*
Washington 8-8

TOTAL: 41-23 (Last season: 38-25-1)

This should again be the best division in the NFL. And again the NFC East has been blessed with an easy "dance partner," cycling with the AFC West. (Last year they had the NFC West.) Other than Washington at San Diego in week 17, this could be clean 16 game sweep. But, you never know and that's what makes the NFL great; any team can beat any other team in one game. It's a cop-out that I'm not picking a clear division winner, I really can't decide...but I'm confident that the Giants, Cowboys, and Eagles will all make the playoffs, regardless of division winner.

NFC NORTH

Green Bay 11-5
Minnesota 9-7
Chicago 7-9
Detroit 4-12

TOTAL: 30-34 (Last season: 25-39)

The Packers quietly continue to build around Aaron Rodgers and will have a solid season. Adrian Peterson leads the NFL in rushing, but the Vikings are sabotaged by the Gunslinger. The Bears are mediocre, and the Lions, well...they can't get any worse than last year. This season they'll stumble into 4 wins and lose out on the first draft pick.

NFC SOUTH

New Orleans 11-5
Carolina 10-6
Atlanta 10-6
Tampa Bay 5-11

TOTAL: 36-28 (Last season: 40-24)

The Saints put on a show, but I don't see them doing anything in playoffs. Carolina is tough to stop on the ground, but Steve Smith may start to show his age. The Falcons become another example of a team that takes a big jump then regresses a bit the following season (again, based on no data). The Bucs continue their collapse from last season, when they lost their last four games.

NFC WEST

Arizona 7-9
Seattle 5-11
San Francisco 5-11
St. Louis 5-11

TOTAL: 22-42 (Last season: 22-42)

These teams went 10-30 outside this division last season and don't look any more palatable this season. So I'll give 7 wins to my projected NFC West winner, Arizona - 6 of which will come by getting 2 apiece against Seattle, San Francisco, and St. Louis. Last season before their improbable run to the Super Bowl, the Cardinals were 6-0 against the NFC West; but 3-7 against actual NFL teams. I believe an easy road to the playoffs is the best way to prepare for a deep postseason run, and the Cardinals will again have that luxury.

PLAYOFFS!???

Wild Card Round:
Steelers over Colts (Steelers still too physical for Colts, especially at home)
Ravens over Chargers
Giants over Saints
Cardinals over Eagles (A 7-9 team hosts a playoff game against an 11-5 team...the NFL still refuses to fix the seeding/home game awarding system. McNabb and Reid fail again, Vick era begins.)

Divisional Round:
Patriots over Steelers
Titans over Ravens
Packers over Cardinals
Giants over Cowboys (Romo still doesn't win a playoff game, even after a 1st round bye.)

Championship Round:
Titans over Patriots (Belichick drowns his sorrows by again stealing another man's wife.)
Packers over Giants (Lack of game breaking WR finally catches up to Giants.)

Super Bowl:
Titans over Packers (Jeff Fisher, currently the longest tenured and perhaps best coach in the league, finally wins a championship.)

*And one final disclaimer: Reason # 13,661 that the NFL is so awesome, is that the landscape changes so quickly, and week-to-week it is like looking into a kaleidoscope. So, I fully expect that by week 2, these picks will look as dated as bellbottoms, long sideburns, or the goatee.

Rex, what did I just say?

A mere two days ago, I posted this. (Yes I just linked to myself, but if you want you can scroll 2 inches down instead.)

From a Yahoo recap of the Giants-Jets preseason game...

How well did Mark Sanchez play in his second start? Well, he was so good that outspoken coach Rex Ryan may have had to borrow from someone else's material just to describe it.

"He is what we thought he was," Ryan said of Sanchez, perhaps riffing on former Arizona coach Denny Green's infamous rant after a loss to Chicago in 2006.

Sanchez went 13-for-20 for 149 yards and one touchdown in his second preseason start, and showed both arm strength and mobility on the scoring pass.

Sheesh, it's like nobody reads this blog at all. (Actually that's just about true.)

Some people never get the memo

When jokes are no longer cool, those who continue to use them, whether by ignorance or poor taste, run the risk of embarassment.

One example that comes to mind in recent history that I still see or hear people using in one way or another, is "Got ____?" (a parody of the "Got Milk?" ad campaign). Whenever I see a Chargers fan wearing a "Got Tomlinson?" t-shirt, for instance, I cry a little on the inside.

Another that has long outlived its welcome is the Mastercard formula: Item A, dollar amount. Item B, dollar amount. Item C, "Priceless." I saw one joke on the internet shortly after the turn of the century spoofing this formula, and I got a small chuckle out of it. But that was about it. If you're still using this mad-lib to make jokes about Michael Vick, Isaiah Thomas, Frank Stallone, or anyone/anything else in life, please stop.

In trying to come up with examples in sports where certain jokes have just been beaten into the ground, so far I can only think of one: People who, upon hearing a description of something, rush to quote Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were" rant. Most of the time it doesn't even apply to the topic, and the person delivering the joke is practically dislocating his spinal cord trying to stretch for the reference.

(Oddly, I have not yet tired of people quoting Jim Mora, "Playoffs!?" or Allen Iverson, "We talkin' about practice," so do feel free to continue use of those...for now. They could prove to be timeless exceptions, but I may have to get back to you on that after 5 more years in heavy rotation for both quotes.)

I'd be happy to hear your examples of sayings or jokes, sports or non-sports, that are really tired yet continue to be used by a significant amount of people. I know I'm forgetting some good ones.

A Goode show is hard to find

You might recall I raved about The Goode Family when it first began. And after 13 solid episodes, it was just starting to fully hit its stride. But last week it was canceled. Speculation was that the move was made because of low ratings. ABC had started it out on Wednesday before moving it to Friday after 4 or 5 episodes, and when you move a show around, especially in its infancy, of course you're going to have a hard time building a steady viewership. And I don't know if they count internet viewings, as that's how I, along with an increasing number of people, watch many TV shows including this one. But they're ABC, and I never want to give too much credit to a network that has been irrelevant for so long. My guess is that they found themselves with one entertaining show in their lineup and didn't know how to handle it.

It was a brief but great run for The Goode Family. Mike Judge, thanks again for the laughs. And ABC, welcome back to irrelevance!

We hardly need to use our ears...How music changes through the years

I was forced to listen to one of the "soft rock" stations on XM the other day for a good couple hours. The following bands sound exactly the same to me:

Coldplay
The Fray
Jack Johnson
John Mayer
Five For Fighting

And those are just the band names I remembered, because they were already famous. Plenty of other, less popular groups also sounded indiscernible from these.

Is this the most homogenized time in history for music?

NBA's already thin credibility stretched even thinner

The last 2 NBA champions, the Celtics and Lakers, have been helped by lopsided deals that were so egregious, they would have been vetoed in any fantasy league. (Kevin Garnett for Al Jefferson and scrubs, and Pau Gasol for scrubs.) So far this offseason, we've seen arguably two more such deals, with Vince Carter and Shaquille O'Neal each traded for a garbage barge of bench warmers. For a league that already faces huge credibility problems, this is not good.

Unfortunately, there is really no solution until the NBA can rework the problem of guaranteed contracts. In the Gasol deal, Memphis's GM pretty much admitted that they did the deal because Kwame Brown was the biggest expiring contract they could find. The owners simply have got to fight to have players' contracts no longer guaranteed, even if they have to lock out the players again at the end of the current collective bargaining agreement. It would be disappointing even for fringe fans to see the league shut down for a while, but it would be better off in the long run. I am confident the owners would soundly defeat the players in a waiting game, because - if I can generalize a bit here - NBA players aren't quite known for managing their finances well, especially when their revenue stream is cut off even temporarily. (Hey, as Patrick Ewing famously said, they make a lot, but they spend a lot.)

This isn't news, but here you go anyway

The subject of one of the most annoying (and kinda racist) ad campaigns of all time, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, has died at age 15. Godspeed, Gidget!

Argument Ender

As of yesterday, 59 year-old Tom Watson was leading the British Open, and Tiger Woods failed to make the cut. I think this safely puts to bed the discussion of whether golfers are athletes, and for that matter, whether Woods deserves "super athlete" status.

Similar to how Barry Bonds put it after passing Babe Ruth...y'all can't talk about Tiger Woods anymore.

And Hamilton doesn't even have the Chinese following of Yao Ming...

Josh Hamilton, TEX: .298 OBP, .428 SLG, 6 HR, 24 RBI (152 AB), voted to start all-star game.
Alex Rodriguez, NYY: .411 OBP, .548 SLG, 17 HR, 50 RBI (199 AB), not voted into all-star game.

Now, I'm no fool...I know all-star voting is not based solely on statistics. But apparently it's way better to have done cocaine than steroids.

Sometimes, you just don't get to gloat, revisited

About a month and a half ago I wrote this post, (yes I just linked to myself) taking a moment to mock the David Beckham soccer explosion that never happened. I thought I was the only one who remembered, but today I realized I'm not alone. Author Grant Wahl has written a book called The Beckham Experiement, detailing the failed venture. One of the most interesting bits from the book, which I heard Wahl say in an interview with WTEM 980's Andy Pollin and Steve Czaban, was how Beckham's contract was not $250 million as was reported, but about $33 million. A nice heap of money still, but not quite what we thought. (The $250 million number was invented by Beckham's publicity team.)

Oh, and Victoria Beckham becoming a star in America didn't quite happen either.

They're as good as money

Regarding the state of California giving "I.O.U.'s" to people because they are broke - Is anyone else reminded of Dumb and Dumber, when Lloyd and Harry spent all the money in the suitcase, but made it all right by filling it up with I.O.U's?

It would be nice to have that kind of job security

I am convinced that in these down economic times, the best way to feel safe in your job is to be way overqualified, and way underpaid, for your current position, to the point that it would be downright foolish for your company to let you go. Now that's job security!

PS: If my employers are reading this post, I'm definitely not talking about me.

On clinging to past greats

Another thought that was planted when I called Mariano Rivera the greatest pitcher ever...

I'd say baseball is romanticized a little more than any other sport, in that players from the distant past are held in the highest regard compared to today. For instance, you can't find many people who would say that George Mikan would dominate, or even be the 12th man on the bench, in today's NBA. Likewise, you can't find many that would say Red Grange would be a great contemporary NFL player.

However, if you talk to enough baseball fans, you'll run into a decent amount of people who say Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, or Cy Young was the greatest baseball player ever. I think that claim would be laughable, especially given the level of competition they played against. But I mention it to set up my point that sports evolve, and generally the people playing them today are the most athletically gifted, best trained, and (sadly), some are the most chemically enhanced.

A dominant center is no longer 6'7", and offensive and defensive linemen in the NFL are no longer 250 LBs, the way they were 50 years ago. Baseball isn't quite as size-related, but players are bigger and stronger than ever - though again, some chemically enhanced. Giving the players of the past access to today's knowledge about nutrition and training would be a different story...but arguing that you could bring them into today's game as they were, and saying that they could compete, is again, laughable. Another example I like to think of in terms of comparing eras: Imagine Bob Cousy running around in today's NBA with his chest-high, one-armed dribble. He'd be robbed more than...well I'm lazy with metaphors today, but I'm thinking of something to do with the seedy parts of Detroit, or Mesa. Hey, I never claimed to be Dennis Miller.

Back to baseball, I give a genuine nod to Pedro Martinez in his relatively short yet incredible prime years, as being among the best ever. Sandy Koufax was also remarkable for a short burst - but with his career finishing over 40 years ago, we again can run into era comparison problems. Though at least he played his entire career post-integration, so at least we're getting closer. I'm still not sure exactly where to draw the "modern era" line, but I'm thinking the past 25 years is a good time frame in which you can safely compare players, in all three sports. I think Bird, Magic, and obviously Jordan, could still be great in today's NBA. Walter Payton would still be the best running back in this era, and Lawrence Taylor the best linebacker. And Jamie Moyer, Ken Griffey Jr., and Randy Johnson could still play in the major leagues today. (Wait, bad example, those three are still playing today.)

Anyway, I do believe that in all major sports we are currently seeing the best athletes ever. So I can safely say, overall, give me Rivera...anytime.

Mariano Rivera Appreciation Day

I would like to take a moment to mention just how awesome Mariano Rivera is. He is so awesome that in the very few times he was not perfect, he was almost a victim of his own awesomeness, due to the fact that we expect him to be perfect.

Rivera recorded his 500th career save (and 1st career RBI) on Sunday against the Mets. But nice, round number aside, we should marvel at him any time, not just when he hits a milestone.

His career statistics are staggering. As of this moment, he has thrown 1054 1/3 innings, with a 2.30 ERA. His dominance of this, a hitters' era, is shown in his career ERA+ of 197. For non stat lovers, this means that over the course of his entire career, his ERA has been about half of the American League average ERA. He has 973 career strikeouts to just 247 walks, and has allowed just 828 hits. (Career WHIP: 1.01.)

It's not out of the question to say that inning-for-inning, in Mariano Rivera we are watching the best pitcher who ever lived. But I'll get into those comparisons another time. The Yankees have won 4 championships during his career. His postseason ERA is 0.77, and if not for his mere three playoff blown saves - 1997 vs. Cleveland, 2001 vs. Arizona, and 2004 vs. Boston (the very fact that I can remember all of them without looking them up also means something) - the Yankees might have 7 rings instead of 4. So, thanks for your awesomeness, Mo.

My Top 4 Curious Sports Commercial Campaigns

Nike's failed LeBron James and Kobe Bryant puppet ads sent me down memory lane for the most ill-advised, puzzling, or flat-out bizarre sports commercial campaigns ever. Here is what I came up with, in countdown format.

4) Tiger Woods/Roger Federer/Thierry Henry - Gillette - 2008

It's standard for a company to get recognizable athletes to promote their product. But when you can only recognize one of the three faces - and the recognizable one arguably does not even play an athletic sport - well, as Steve Spurrier once said, "Not too good!" I consdier myself a pretty knowledgeable sports fan, but truthfully, when I saw these commercials I thought Roger Federer was Jeff Gordon until my brother corrected me...and I had to enlist the help of Google just minutes ago to figure out the third guy, Henry.

3) Larry Johnson as "Grandmama" - Converse - mid 1990s

Yep, as we all know, the only thing better than drag, is elderly drag. Perhaps it worked in the mid 1990s, but nowadays a strong, large man in drag performing great hoops feats just seems weird.

2) LeBron James/Kobe Bryant Puppets - Nike - 2009

Even if LeBron and Kobe both made it to the NBA Finals, as Nike had assumed they would, these ads would be considered mediocre at best. The puppets don't look or sound like their human subjects at all, and the dialogue simply isn't that funny. But consider that everything Nike was building up to - a LeBron/Kobe finals - was not delivered, no doubt Nike has egg all over their face for this one. If only they'd done a Dwight Howard puppet (or even a J.J. Reddick) instead of LeBron James. Nike's mistake was not the all-time undelivered matchup-gaffe however; that brings me to #1...

1) Dan and Dave - Reebok - 1992

Dave Johnson and Dan O'Brien were destined to collide in the 1992 Olympic decathlon event, but Dave placed third and Dan failed to qualify for the games. It was a lesson in "jumping the gun" that, until this year (see above), was well-learned. (As a side note, I see by the Youtube posts that Jim Rome talked about this campaign a few days ago - which means he beat it to death for two hours with repetitive and shallow analysis, and played the same sound effect 185 times.)

So, those are some curious ones. But what is the best sports commercial of all-time? Easy. This.

Another Goode Job by Mike Judge

King of the Hill's 13 year run on Fox ended last week. But as one door closes, another opens, as Mike Judge's new project, The Goode Family, premiered last week, and was awesome. If you haven't seen it, the show centers around a family of politically correct environmentalists, and right from the beginning, it's one laugh after another. Really clever, creative, and different from the norm, and some great character voices. Basically everything we've come to expect from Mike Judge. It's hard to say someone has been underappreciated, as it's impossible for me get a large enough sample size of appreciation from the public to judge (pun intended) whether or not it's enough...but I think the guy is great and have loved just about everything he's ever done. Beavis and Butthead, Office Space, King of the Hill, Idiocracy, and now, so far, The Goode Family.

Far be it for me to tell you whom to appreciate. But while Seth MacFarlane gets the "rocketship to the moon" (which, officially, is a "push to the moon" times five), let's hear it for Mike Judge.

Sometimes, you just don't get to gloat

Remember when David Beckham was coming to the U.S. to play for the L.A. Galaxy, and how he was going to make people in this country care about soccer, and how ESPN gave him the ol' "push to the moon?" How did that work out?

This is just one of the things in sports where we just don't get the chance to say "I told you so." There is never a "gotcha" moment. You don't get that win/lose result the way you get in a singular sporting event. (Like, say, the Giants beating the Patriots in Super Bowl XLII, the only Super Bowl in which the Pats were not allowed to cheat.)

No, the Beckham story was one that faded away in a very slow and irrelevant manner, robbing us of the chance to say at any given point, "See, I knew no one would care about soccer, it will always be at best a niche sport in this country (and at worst a reason to riot and murder in others), and ESPN will have egg on their face for making such a big deal out of this guy."

So we never got a precise moment for that chance...though I guess I just took it now.

SI's best and worst owners in sports

Because I am fascinated with sports ownership and management, I found this particualrly interesting. Sports Illustrated made their lists of the top 5 best and worst owners, in each major sport. As the old saying goes, "a fish stinks from the head." So it's not a coincidence that the same teams are bad year after year, with very few exceptions. Similarly, we see the same franchises hovering near the top of the league every season, for the opposite reason - teams run very well all the way from the top to bottom, and great organizational stability.

In the NFL list, to no one's surprise, the Rooney family was ranked the best. Also to no one's surprise, Al Davis was ranked the worst - though I'm sure they had a tough decision between Davis and William Clay Ford. Giants' ownership, the Mara & Tisch Families, was ranked the third best, which I can't quarrel too much with. But I wouldn't have put Robert Kraft at #2, simply because too much of New England's success was achieved by cheating.

Apples and oranges?

I've always appreciated music reviews where they give you an alternative. Or, to put it more specifically, a better recommendation from a similar genre. Sometimes even from the same band. For instance, if a music outlet reviews Aerosmith's Just Push Play (their 2001 offering; the last time Aerosmith was relevant) and didn't like it, they'll typically say, "Save your 15 bucks and just listen to Get a Grip again instead."

The reason I bring this up is, I gave a first listen today to Green Day's Bullet In a Bible live album from 2005, and I found it mostly grating and obnoxious. And I normally like Green Day just fine. I don't know, maybe it's just the mood I'm in today. Or my taste is changing - I had not listened to any Green Day in quite some time before today. I do like The Offspring still, they're also considered in the punk category...though as anyone should be able to admit, The Offspring is far superior to Green Day. It's also possible that some bands just don't have that certain "it" when they're live. Yet a 4th possibility was that the crowd mic was too loud. And the crowd sounded to be mostly made up of 12 year old girls. That's not the band's fault. Well, maybe it was their fault with regards to marketing, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. (They're not a band backed by Disney that wears purity rings while selling sex or anything, I'm sure of that much.)

Anyway, during about the 5th song on the live Green Day album, I thought to myself, "I'd rather be listening to Queen right now." And that's what made me think of the music review thing I led off with. Could I review this Green Day album by saying, "This album is a little empty...You might better enjoy Queen's Live at Wembley Stadium, 1986?" That's at least a live-album-to-live-album comparison. But they're not in the same ballpark as far as genre goes. If I can get away with that one though, could I also compare other, non-musical endeavors to Queen? "Chachkis' jalepeno poppers aren't very good...I recommend listening to Queen II instead."

Now, only a few months until we find out if they're good

Here is the Giants' draft class of 2009:

1 29 (29) Hakeem Nicks WR North Carolina
2 13 (45) Clint Sintim LB Virginia (from New Orleans)
2 28 (60) Will Beatty T Connecticut
3 21 (85) Ramses Barden WR Cal Poly (from Pittsburgh)
3 36 (100) Travis Beckum TE Wisconsin
4 29 (129) Andre Brown RB N.C. State
5 15 (151) Rhett Bomar QB Sam Houston St. (from New Orleans)
6 27 (200) DeAndre Wright CB New Mexico
7 29 (238) Stoney Woodson CB South Carolina

Instead of rushing to "grade" a team's draft as many analysts do, I'll simply say that I have never seen any of these guys play, and that I hope they're good. However, given Giants' GM Jerry Reese's track record, I have to have confidence that these guys can play. Or at least most of the higher selections. The Giants will come into 2009 with a solid team, this we already knew. But the two big receivers, if good, can really contribute to a Super Bowl contender.

And back to the grade idea for a moment. It isn't a completely useless concept. I'd just like to see it applied in more constructive ways. A few outlets got the idea this year, but as for all the rest, I'd prefer they take all the time they spend grading a draft class of players who have never stepped on a professional field, and instead allocate it towards revisiting past draft classes and look back at how successful they were. I don't think you can truly evaluate a draftee until he's been in the league for at least two years. (That is, if he even lasts that long - and that's part of the idea in why waiting is so much more useful.)

With that, I now grade the 2007 New York Giants draft:

1 20 (20) Aaron Ross CB Texas
2 19 (51) Steve Smith WR USC
3 17 (81) Jay Alford DT Penn State
4 17 (116) Zak DeOssie OLB Brown
5 16 (153) Kevin Boss TE Western Oregon
6 15 (189) Adam Koets T Oregon State
7 14 (224) Michael Johnson S Arizona
7 40 (250) Ahmad Bradshaw RB Marshall

Yep...A+.

Things get even more interesting when looking at scouting reports of past draftees, if you can find them. Here's one for University of Michigan star defensive end LaMarr Woodley:

NEGATIVES: *Lacks the ideal measurables and may not have a true pro position.

Lacks a true position, eh? How about, totally awesome outside linebacker in a 3-4 scheme.

*Only occasionally asked to make plays in reverse.

I don't even know what this means so I'll pass.

*Benefited from the terrific talent around him at Michigan.

The 2006 Wolverines were a terrific team, but it was largely because of Woodley, not in spite of him.

ANALYSIS: A game-disrupting defender on the college level, Woodley positively impacted the Michigan defense since his arrival. Impressive on film, he could be ideally suited as a rush linebacker in the NFL. May need time to get adjusted but will be productive at the next level.

Ding! 11 1/2 sacks last season. Credit to the scout for seeing the potential there; though he still hedged too much in his "negatives" section. It's like the scout was saying, "I see him as a good outside linebacker in the NFL, but just in case he doesn't work out, I also told you he would suck."

PROJECTION: Late Second Round

Not a bad prediction, as he was picked in the middle of the 2nd round by the Super Bowl XLIII champion Pittsburgh Steelers.

I thought it really would have been interesting to find a pre-draft scouting report on Defensive Player of the Year and Super Bowl hero James Harrison, but I couldn't find one. I did find this though, an article on why Harrison went overlooked for so long. Here are the "money" paragraphs.

"Number one," said (Ozzie) Newsome, one of the league's shrewdest judges of talent, "he came out of Kent State. Number two, the measurables were lacking. When you come from a small school, what can attract you to someone is good measurables. But some measurables were missing."

Brandt seconded that motion. Harrison was undersized. He was 5-feet-11½. He wasn't fast, either. His 40-yard dash time was 4.85. Plus, he was a 24-year-old rookie.

After all this time, and all the "workout warrior" busts we've seen (I'm thinking of Mike Mamula most of all here, though with a couple more bad years, Vernon Davis and Vernon Gholston can join this list), teams still seem to place way too much importance on the measurables, and not enough on how they actually play on the field.

So my friends, here's to hoping that this year, your team got it right.

Boom...Madden retires

I'm a little surprised at the announcement of John Madden's retirement...not because of his age, of course, but because there were no rumors of it happening, at least none that I heard. Good for John for keeping the lid on pretty tight. I always respect a clean, certain (aka "non-gunslinger") retirement. A couple of things though...

-Cris Collinsworth takes over in the NBC booth with the best in the business, Al Michaels. Not being a big fan of Collinsworth, can I petition the NFL to just prepare a comprehensive set of Madden commentaries to fire off at the appropriate time, like in the EA Sports video game? Hey, we might not even be able to tell the difference.

-Does it bother Madden that in the last game he called, his arch rival of the 1970s, the Pittsburgh Steelers, won the Super Bowl and cemented their place as the best franchise in football, and maybe in all of professional sports? As a Raider, that's gotta hurt.

Let the fun resume

Isaiah Thomas was hired as the new head basketball coach at Florida International University yesterday. Like all of Isaiah's post-playing career endeavors, I am sure this will be very entertaining, and that he will find new and creative ways to sink this organization. I can't wait to see it all unfold. Will he get FIU in trouble in some way? Will there be a sexual harrassment lawsuit? Will he try to trade some of the players on the FIU roster for Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis?

And I hope that this time, we don't let the opportunity to make a reality show out of Isaiah at work, pass us by. Why hasn't any TV executive thought of this yet?

Harry Kalas, 1936-2009

Legendary broadcaster Harry Kalas died today at age 73. It's a sad loss for Philadelphia sports fans, or really any sports fan for that matter. Kalas was not only the main play-by-play announcer for the Phillies since 1971, but also the voice of NFL Films, and some commercials including Campbell's Soup. To me, he goes on the "Mount Rushmore" of greatest voices ever, along with the late John Facenda.

Harry Kalas will be missed...but thanks to the great work he left behind, his memory will never truly be "outta here."

Is this the (sports) world we created?

(Yes, that's another Queen reference in the title, if you're scoring at home.)

I'm going to come clean. I had this next thing in the cue for a while. But I didn't know how to present it in a kind or meaningful way. It's a clip from the Associated Press, of Arizona Cardinals fans reacting to the team losing the Super Bowl. 

 

Obviously my first instinct was mockery and sarcasm. (Hey, old habits die hard.) I was going to focus on the last guy, from the 31 second mark forward - the "I am so frustrated with this!" guy - and present a multiple choice question speculating what exactly the "this" is that he is "so frustrated with." I had it narrowed down to the following options:

a) an inflated sense of entitlement
b) a lack of upper body muscle definition
c) the fact that there are people who root for a team other than his
d) the unhealthy level of personal importance he places on the Arizona Cardinals winning a football game, and how it makes him feel

In seriousness though, I have more to say on this. As I mentioned earlier, I want to make this post meaningful, and maybe even redeeming. And I think I know how. I will start by again addressing the last guy. But instead of mocking him, I've just got two words for him...

Thank you.

Thank you for showing us what we should never become. Thank you for showing us how ugly we can allow ourselves to look, and for giving us motivation to never want to look like that in front of friends or loved ones - let alone in front of a camera.

At this point let me clarify something. I am not saying that only Cardinals fans behave like this, nor am I picking on them in particular. It would be silly to think that, for instance, no Browns or Lions fans in the past 50+ years, or Jets fans in the past 40 years, or Raiders fans in the past 25 years, etc., have ever angrily exclaimed "I am so frustrated with this," or looked bad on TV.

And on a positive note, the 3rd guy, at the 20 second mark, put things into proper perspective. "My heart is hurting a little bit but I'm still happy because the Cardinals showed they are a true team. Character, spirit, they fought strong 'till the end." That is a person who approaches sports in a healthy way, and I'd even say I'd like to watch a game with him sometime. Sure, that was only one guy out of five, but in fairness I am aware the AP had the ability to "cherry-pick" the clips to use, so I would be unfair to estimate or generalize with regards to percentages of folks who have it right.

Now to the larger issue of sportsmanship. Much like the time I truly questioned people's ability to laugh anymore, I am now truly questioning people's ability to handle their team losing anymore. In other countries people die over soccer far too frequently. I don't know if things here in America are any better or worse than they were in past generations, but I certainly hope we realize that sports just aren't that important. Yes, my blog is about mostly sports, but it comes with an obvious underlying axiom. Or at least I hope it's obvious. That axiom is, "Sports are not important in the overall picture."

A perfect example of an underlying axiom comes from one of my favorite forms of entertainment: Wrestling. When two wrestling fans have a discussion, they both know wrestling is scripted. But of course they don't need to say that every time. If they did, you'd have conversations like the following:
Lenny: "I know wrestling is scripted, but I like the way they've set up this Triple H vs. Randy Orton angle."
Carl: "I know wrestling is scripted too, but I am looking forward to seeing if Shawn Michaels will end the Undertaker's undefeated streak at Wrestlemania."

Likewise, with sports fandom, if you had to say what should be understood from the start, it would sound like this:

Lenny: "Sports are not important, and we have way more important things to worry about in the world, like our families who need our love and support, the war in Iraq, and the economic crisis...and I think the Bears gave up too much for Jay Cutler."
Carl: "Sports are not important, and we have way more important things to worry about in the world, like our families who need our love and support, the war in Iraq, and the economic crisis...and I disagree, I think the Bears got a good deal in this trade."

So this brings me back to the "I am so frustrated with this!" guy. How would you respond to him? All you have to do is remind him of any one of a few specific, simple facts. Again, in multiple choice format:

a) It's only a game
b) No one is dying because of the result
c) The Cardinals don't pay you enough to feel this way
d) (If applicable) Go home to your wife and/or children, they need your best

And just like my first multiple choice question, I feel any one of these answers are acceptable.

The best baseball card ever

I visited a sports card store for the first time in about a decade last weekend, and found my new favorite card. Naturally, I took it to an expert, my friend Mike, and he explains everything you need to know about why Upper Deck decided to include Alex Rodriguez in a series called "World Series Heroes" in 2004.

Top 10 Queen songs you've probably never heard

Without much to talk about in sports this month - obviously I'm not watching the NCAA tournament very closely - I have decided to share some of my favorite Queen songs. Queen is my favorite band ever, and contains both the greatest all-time singer, Freddie Mercury, and the most awesome guitar player, Brian May. (John Deacon on bass and Roger Taylor on drums weren't too shabby either.)

I didn't want to include any wildly popular Queen songs (of which there are numerous), because it would seem too difficult...yet too easy at the same time. I also won't include any songs from Queen I, due to the fact that it has too much sentimental value to me, making it hard to evaluate as objectively as the rest of the Queen albums. I had a cassette of Queen I for a couple years before I got a hold of any of their others albums, and I think I wore that tape out by the end of 6th grade. Anyway, without further delay, here are my top 10 Queen songs you've probably never heard. With each song you'll find Rhapsody links to each album if you're interested in listening, including live versions.

10) The Prophet's Song - A Night at the Opera (1975).

9) Friends Will Be Friends - A Kind of Magic (1986), Live at Wembley '86, Live Magic (1986).

8) Dragon Attack - The Game (1980), Rock Montreal (1981), Live at the Bowl (1982).

7) Don't Stop Me Now - Jazz (1978), Live Killers (1979).

6) '39 - A Night at the Opera (1975), Live Killers (1979).

5) Innuendo - Innuendo (1991).

4) It's a Hard Life - The Works (1984).

3) Ogre Battle - At The BBC (1973). Queen II (1974).

2) In The Lap of the Gods, Revisited - Sheer Heart Attack (1974), Live at Wembley '86

1) Seven Seas of Rhye - Queen II (1974), Live at Wembley '86, Live Magic (1986)

Honorable mention: I'm not sure if this one counts as wildly popular...though a live audience favorite, I've never heard it on the radio. If it counts, it belongs with the very best on this list.
Love of My Life - A Night at the Opera (1975), Live Killers (1979), Rock Montreal (1981), Live at the Bowl (1982), Live at Wembley '86, Live Magic (1986).

Another great thing to me about Queen, is that even after almost 20 years of listening to them, I could make this list again next week and I feel like it would be totally different.

Well folks, until next time, Keep Yourself Alive...but Don't Try So Hard.

Best and Worst in Sports Radio

If there's one thing I know (and there is - in fact it is documented that there are thirty-seven things I know), it's sports talk radio. Here are my top three and bottom three sports talk show hosts...

BEST

3) Andy Pollin (WTEM 980, Washington D.C.) - A friendly voice, Pollin is an excellent mediator, but has great opinions of his own. He's also co-written a book called The Great Book of Washington D.C. Sports Lists. (Hey, where do you think I got the list idea?)

2) Brandon Tierney (WEPN 1050, New York) - The most passionate sports host there is, Tierney does a fun show and meaningful and enjoyable interviews. To me, his show is the pulse of NY sports.

1) Steve Czaban (Fox Sports Radio) - Czabe is simply the man. Fresh, intriguing, and entertaining opinions, can't-miss show segments such as "The Daily Czabe" and "Lock It Up," and a blog that has it all. If I could listen to only one show, it would be his. He also co-hosts a local show in his native Washington D.C. with Pollin. Czabe's sports commentary is bar-none, yet his non-sports commentary is even more fun.

Honorable mention: Max Kellerman - Until March 9th, Kellerman made middays a lot more enjoyable, with his 10AM-1PM show on 1050 WEPN, New York. His "gunslinger" skits about Brett Favre were hilarious, and he always brought fresh perspective and insight to sports.

WORST

3) Jim Rome (Premiere Radio Network) - If you've known me for an extended period of time, seeing Rome on the "worst" list seems unheard of...but it's because I have listened for so long that I know he belongs here. His analysis is shallow, vague, and predictable. And he has the tendency to beat subjects and jokes to death.

2) Colin Cowherd (ESPN Radio) - Condescending and in love with himself, it doesn't take long to get tired of hearing him. And he's just not that interesting.

1) Ron Wolfley (KTAR 620 AM Phoenix) - Thanks to ESPN television, we've seen that you don't need to have facts or be astute in sports if you can simply be loud enough. This guy takes annoying to a new level.

And a special category for best local fill-in hosts who should have shows of their own

Joe Huizenga and Luke Lapinski. I've often said that Phoenix has got to be the worst market in the nation for sports radio. But there is not a lack of talent. If local sports radio host jobs were given out on merit, rather than...however they're given out now and in the past (Gambo and Ash...Jeff Dean...the aforementioned Wolfley...uggghhhh), these two would be surely have seats at the table.

Four More Years of the Juggernaut

The Giants have reportedly reached a four-year deal with Brandon Jacobs. Far be it for me to call $25 million a small amount, but in NFL terms, I'm really surprised at how low this amount looks. At just over $6 million per year on average, this contract won't cripple the Giants' salary cap, and Jacobs was the one guy they had to keep.

Jacobs runs hard (he is, after all, a Juggernaut), and running backs of his punishing style don't normally last long, but this is a deal that is fair for both the Giants and Jacobs.

With the Giants' superb offensive line also returning intact for 2009, I expect big things next season. Now, they just need that field-stretching receiver to keep defenses from crowding the line of scrimmage the way they were able to do towards the end of last year.