Thursday, October 15, 2015
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Cardinals Memes
It's time to check back in with the kindest, most gentle, and most knowledgeable fan base in all of sports!
When I think Minions, I think Arizona Cardinals. You just can't separate the two. It's always fun to see fictional characters used presumably without permission...not unlike the phenomenon of depicting Calvin peeing on all kinds of logos.
The entire country roots for the Cardinals. You can't travel to any state without it being Cardinals Country! (Though Alaska is pictured and Hawaii isn't, so do with that what you will.) Arizona Cardinals: The real America's Team.
Well I'm stumped; the logic is air-tight. Take that, Tom Brady...and also MLB, I guess.
Literally stomp his head and kill him! At the moment of this screen shot the 49ers have 12,000 points while the Cardinals have none...but that's about to change in a big way.
For being obsessed with the 49ers (their "rival" - along with the Cowboys, Seahawks, Patriots, and Steelers...and heck, the Spurs and Lakers, because why not?), they sure pretend they don't know who the 49ers are a lot.
Remember Jerry Maguire? Of course you do! So here is a meme that has no application to the movie and makes no sense.
An accurate depiction of a field goal attempt.
When I think Minions, I think Arizona Cardinals. You just can't separate the two. It's always fun to see fictional characters used presumably without permission...not unlike the phenomenon of depicting Calvin peeing on all kinds of logos.
For being obsessed with the 49ers (their "rival" - along with the Cowboys, Seahawks, Patriots, and Steelers...and heck, the Spurs and Lakers, because why not?), they sure pretend they don't know who the 49ers are a lot.
Remember Jerry Maguire? Of course you do! So here is a meme that has no application to the movie and makes no sense.
An accurate depiction of a field goal attempt.
Friday, October 2, 2015
Motivational Posters Don't Always Make Sense
Two instances when the above isn't true:
1) Your excuse-making is enough of a tantrum that it does in fact burn calories - such as stomping and jumping up and down.
2) Your excuse not only burned calories, it was an activity meant to burn calories. For instance, George Costanza experienced shrinkage, and his excuse was that he was in the pool. Swimming is an excellent calorie-burning activity.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
The NBA Is Not What Inspires Me: A Master List
-First names on jerseys
-Ads on jerseys
-"Los" on jerseys
-Derrick Rose doesn't want to be all sore in meetings
-Star players shutting themselves down for the season if their team is bad
-Crooked referees
-Rigged lotteries
-Flopping
-Ridiculous salaries for jobbers
-Paying $20 million players just to make them go away (Josh Smith, Stephon Marbury, etc.)
-Ringer trades
-Trading for guys only to release for cap space
-Preferential treatment for star players
-James Dolan, owner of a perennial losing team, sending a scathing email to a lifelong fan
-Shoving the same 4-6 teams down our throats on TV all season. (Usually includes Lakers, Celtics, and whatever team LeBron James is on.)
-Seasons that last 9 months
-Playoffs that last 64 days
-If you are losing with under a minute left and the other team has the ball, it isn't over...just foul them a bunch of times to keep getting the ball back. (Try that in football or baseball and see if you can catch up.)
-Championship series games beginning at 9:15 PM Eastern.
-Championship series games beginning at 9:15 PM Eastern.
Friday, February 6, 2015
2014 NFL Over/Under Prediction Results
I did this back in July, and wanted to pay it off.
Had I made these bets, I'd be down 14 hypothetical betting units (having won 43, and lost 57), and breaking it down to its simplest terms, I'd have been correct about 13 teams, and incorrect about 19. Not a great season of over/under predictions!
In fact, 13-19 is the exact record the New York Giants have played to over the past two seasons.
Here are my predictions from July, pasted below...
Had I made these bets, I'd be down 14 hypothetical betting units (having won 43, and lost 57), and breaking it down to its simplest terms, I'd have been correct about 13 teams, and incorrect about 19. Not a great season of over/under predictions!
In fact, 13-19 is the exact record the New York Giants have played to over the past two seasons.
Here are my predictions from July, pasted below...
| Team | O/U Line | Prediction | Hypothetical Bet |
| Arizona Cardinals | 7 | Under | 2 |
| Atlanta Falcons | 8 | Over | 5 |
| Baltimore Ravens | 8.5 | Under | 1 |
| Buffalo Bills | 6.5 | Over | 6 |
| Carolina Panthers | 8.5 | Over | 1 |
| Chicago Bears | 8.5 | Under | 2 |
| Cincinnati Bengals | 9 | Under | 2 |
| Cleveland Browns | 6.5 | Under | 5 |
| Dallas Cowboys | 8 | Under | 1 |
| Denver Broncos | 11 | Under | 1 |
| Detroit Lions | 8 | Under | 3 |
| Green Bay Packers | 10 | Over | 3 |
| Houston Texans | 8.5 | Under | 20 |
| Indianapolis Colts | 9 | Over | 7 |
| Jacksonville Jaguars | 4.5 | Over | 1 |
| Kansas City Chiefs | 8 | Over | 2 |
| Miami Dolphins | 7.5 | Over | 2 |
| Minnesota Vikings | 6.5 | Under | 4 |
| New England Patriots | 10.5 | Over | 6 |
| New Orleans Saints | 9.5 | Over | 1 |
| New York Giants | 7 | Under | 3 |
| New York Jets | 6.5 | Over | 2 |
| Oakland Raiders | 5 | Under | 1 |
| Philadelphia Eagles | 9 | Over | 5 |
| Pittsburgh Steelers | 9 | Under | 1 |
| San Diego Chargers | 8 | Over | 1 |
| San Francisco 49ers | 11 | Under | 4 |
| Seattle Seahawks | 11 | Under | 1 |
| St. Louis Rams | 6.5 | Over | 2 |
| Tampa Bay Buccaneers | 7 | Over | 2 |
| Tennessee Titans | 6.5 | Under | 1 |
| Washington Redskins | 7 | Over | 2 |
| 100 |
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