Some people never get the memo

When jokes are no longer cool, those who continue to use them, whether by ignorance or poor taste, run the risk of embarassment.

One example that comes to mind in recent history that I still see or hear people using in one way or another, is "Got ____?" (a parody of the "Got Milk?" ad campaign). Whenever I see a Chargers fan wearing a "Got Tomlinson?" t-shirt, for instance, I cry a little on the inside.

Another that has long outlived its welcome is the Mastercard formula: Item A, dollar amount. Item B, dollar amount. Item C, "Priceless." I saw one joke on the internet shortly after the turn of the century spoofing this formula, and I got a small chuckle out of it. But that was about it. If you're still using this mad-lib to make jokes about Michael Vick, Isaiah Thomas, Frank Stallone, or anyone/anything else in life, please stop.

In trying to come up with examples in sports where certain jokes have just been beaten into the ground, so far I can only think of one: People who, upon hearing a description of something, rush to quote Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were" rant. Most of the time it doesn't even apply to the topic, and the person delivering the joke is practically dislocating his spinal cord trying to stretch for the reference.

(Oddly, I have not yet tired of people quoting Jim Mora, "Playoffs!?" or Allen Iverson, "We talkin' about practice," so do feel free to continue use of those...for now. They could prove to be timeless exceptions, but I may have to get back to you on that after 5 more years in heavy rotation for both quotes.)

I'd be happy to hear your examples of sayings or jokes, sports or non-sports, that are really tired yet continue to be used by a significant amount of people. I know I'm forgetting some good ones.

A Goode show is hard to find

You might recall I raved about The Goode Family when it first began. And after 13 solid episodes, it was just starting to fully hit its stride. But last week it was canceled. Speculation was that the move was made because of low ratings. ABC had started it out on Wednesday before moving it to Friday after 4 or 5 episodes, and when you move a show around, especially in its infancy, of course you're going to have a hard time building a steady viewership. And I don't know if they count internet viewings, as that's how I, along with an increasing number of people, watch many TV shows including this one. But they're ABC, and I never want to give too much credit to a network that has been irrelevant for so long. My guess is that they found themselves with one entertaining show in their lineup and didn't know how to handle it.

It was a brief but great run for The Goode Family. Mike Judge, thanks again for the laughs. And ABC, welcome back to irrelevance!

We hardly need to use our ears...How music changes through the years

I was forced to listen to one of the "soft rock" stations on XM the other day for a good couple hours. The following bands sound exactly the same to me:

Coldplay
The Fray
Jack Johnson
John Mayer
Five For Fighting

And those are just the band names I remembered, because they were already famous. Plenty of other, less popular groups also sounded indiscernible from these.

Is this the most homogenized time in history for music?

NBA's already thin credibility stretched even thinner

The last 2 NBA champions, the Celtics and Lakers, have been helped by lopsided deals that were so egregious, they would have been vetoed in any fantasy league. (Kevin Garnett for Al Jefferson and scrubs, and Pau Gasol for scrubs.) So far this offseason, we've seen arguably two more such deals, with Vince Carter and Shaquille O'Neal each traded for a garbage barge of bench warmers. For a league that already faces huge credibility problems, this is not good.

Unfortunately, there is really no solution until the NBA can rework the problem of guaranteed contracts. In the Gasol deal, Memphis's GM pretty much admitted that they did the deal because Kwame Brown was the biggest expiring contract they could find. The owners simply have got to fight to have players' contracts no longer guaranteed, even if they have to lock out the players again at the end of the current collective bargaining agreement. It would be disappointing even for fringe fans to see the league shut down for a while, but it would be better off in the long run. I am confident the owners would soundly defeat the players in a waiting game, because - if I can generalize a bit here - NBA players aren't quite known for managing their finances well, especially when their revenue stream is cut off even temporarily. (Hey, as Patrick Ewing famously said, they make a lot, but they spend a lot.)