Friday, September 26, 2008

Cardinals-Jets prediction

In the first 3 weeks of the NFL season, the following happened...

Jets beat Dolphins, 20-14
Patriots beat Jets, 19-10
Cardinals beat Dolphins, 31-10
Dolphins beat Patriots, 38-13

By deductive logic, the Cardinals will beat the Jets on Sunday by a score of 165-2.

Also, the Jets will have failed to pay attention to this, as despite warning, they allow the Cardinals to get their running game untracked behind Edgerrin James, (rather than keeping it tracked and in front of James) and allow the Cardinals to surprise the Jets with their special teams. Curse you, Bob McManahan, and curse your foresight! I also need to give Cards' homer McManahan credit when he said this...

Meanwhile, the Jets are having their own issues at quarterback.

This was written before the Jets acquired Favre. Eerie, no?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

How about a trade, Miami?

I've been able to watch all 3 games the Jets have played so far this season, and let me just say this...I really miss Chad Pennington. It's funny how after all that money the Jets spent over the summer to improve the offensive line, defensive line, and linebackers...they then decided to downgrade at the quarterback position. But, I can't say I didn't see this coming. Gunslinger!

Pennant race!

What an exciting race between the Dodgers and Diamondbacks for the NL West title! If these teams were in the AL East, they would be in 5th and 6th place, respectively. But whatever, Joe Torre is a genius. The playoffs are the playoffs. (And it is what it is.)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Because a little cross promotion never hurt anybody...

Okay, so here's a link to another blog, on which I link to a funny name of an NY Times writer. 3 degrees of separation to Charles M. Blow is a lot, but I think it's worth the laugh, especially considering the man's field of expertise.

And thanks for posting my letter Czabe...I knew you'd appreciate it!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

2008 NFL Preview

After spending much of the offseason making fun of Sports Illustrated for picking the Giants to finish last in the NFC East in 2007, I realized, in a rare moment of humility that predicting an NFL season might be more difficult than it looks. So this year, for the first time, I will predict the NFL season, with full records and playoff results. Plus this gives all of you a chance to make fun of me.

No, I did not just copy this off of Madden NFL 2009 (because I don't have it). No, I didn't just copy this off of Tecmo Super Bowl. And yes, I made sure all the regular season records add up to 256 wins and 256 losses. In fact, I also include division records on the whole as I feel it's important to predict the overall strength of a division, as these teams will be playing each other the most, and therefore will show how tough their level of competition is.

Without further delay, here we go:

AFC

EAST

Patriots 11-5
Jets 10-6*
Bills 8-8
Dolphins 7-9

TOTAL: 36-28
The Patriots, no longer able to cheat, lose 5 more regular season games than last year...but still squeak by for the best record in a much improved division. The Jets were better even before Favre was added (Faneca, Pace, Woody, Gholston, Keller, Jenkins). Pennington is solid for Miami. Marshawn Lynch leads the AFC in rushing, as well as hit-and-runs.

NORTH

Steelers 11-5
Browns 9-7
Bengals 6-10
Ravens 5-11

TOTAL: 31-33
Steelers as always are tough and consistent. Browns offense again lights it up, but they just miss the playoffs due again to a poor defense. Bengals top their own NFL record for arrests. Ravens become the latest team to unretire Vinny Testaverde because they have no QB.

SOUTH

Colts 12-4
Jaguars 11-5*
Texans 7-9
Titans 6-10

TOTAL: 36-28
Colts and Jags battle it out all season, as usual. I was close to picking the Jaguars to win it, but until that happens I can't go against the Colts. Mario Williams dominates for the Texans, making those who instead wanted Reggie Bush or Matt Leinart eat their words even more. Vince Young finishes the year with a QB rating lower than Pamela Anderson's IQ, but is again defended for "having no weapons."

WEST

Chargers 10-6
Raiders 7-9
Broncos 7-9
Chiefs 6-10

TOTAL: 30-34
No one really impresses me here, but the Raiders will be the most improved of the group. I sort of give the division to the Chargers by default, but they will struggle with a hobbled all-pro (and all-chemical) pass rusher Shawn Merriman.

NFC

EAST

Cowboys 11-5
Giants 10-6*
Eagles 10-6*
Redskins 7-9

TOTAL: 38-26
Along with the AFC East and AFC South, I consider this the best division in the league. 3 teams go to the playoffs, and the Redskins are competitive. The Giants sorely miss Strahan and Umenyiora, but Eli Manning picks up where he leaves off and has an MVP caliber season.

NORTH

Vikings 10-6
Packers 10-6
Lions 8-8
Bears 5-11

TOTAL: 33-31
With a full season of good health, Adrian Peterson leads the NFC in rushing and gives the Vikings the edge they need, as they win the division with a tie-breaker over the Packers. Confused Green Bay fans don't know whether to love or hate Aaron Rodgers. The Bears just miss out on signing Vinny, so turn to Doug Flutie to rescue them from the Orton/Grossman carousel.

SOUTH

Panthers 10-6
Saints 9-7
Buccaneers 9-7
Falcons 4-12

TOTAL: 32-32
These teams are all kind of boring so I don't know what to write about them.

WEST

Seahawks 6-10
Cardinals 6-10
Rams 5-11
49ers 3-13

TOTAL: 20-44
Yes, this will be the worst division of all-time. (In any sport - even counting this year's NL West in baseball.) The only reason I give the Seahawks and Cardinals 6 wins, is because they get to play each other, as well as the Rams and 49ers, twice each. Again a division is decided by a tiebreaker, though the NFL is reluctant to let anyone from this division into the postseason.


PLAYOFFS!???

Wild Card Round:
Jets over Patriots (Favre: 5 TDs - gunslinger!)
Jaguars over Chargers
Giants over Seahawks
Eagles over Panthers

Divisional Round:
Colts over Jets (Favre: 5 INTs - gunslinger!)
Jaguars over Steelers
Cowboys over Eagles
Giants over Vikings

Championship Round:
Colts over Jaguars
Giants over Cowboys (Romo: 2 INTs, 3 mishandled FG holds)

Super Bowl:
Colts over Giants (Manning Bowl! Mr. and Mrs. Manning are shown 327 times during the 3 hour game broadcast.)

So there it is, I've got my story straight. And I promise not to change anything when it's week 4 and all of this is obviously wrong.