In the first 3 weeks of the NFL season, the following happened...
Jets beat Dolphins, 20-14
Patriots beat Jets, 19-10
Cardinals beat Dolphins, 31-10
Dolphins beat Patriots, 38-13
By deductive logic, the Cardinals will beat the Jets on Sunday by a score of 165-2.
Also, the Jets will have failed to pay attention to this, as despite warning, they allow the Cardinals to get their running game untracked behind Edgerrin James, (rather than keeping it tracked and in front of James) and allow the Cardinals to surprise the Jets with their special teams. Curse you, Bob McManahan, and curse your foresight! I also need to give Cards' homer McManahan credit when he said this...
Meanwhile, the Jets are having their own issues at quarterback.
This was written before the Jets acquired Favre. Eerie, no?
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
How about a trade, Miami?
I've been able to watch all 3 games the Jets have played so far this season, and let me just say this...I really miss Chad Pennington. It's funny how after all that money the Jets spent over the summer to improve the offensive line, defensive line, and linebackers...they then decided to downgrade at the quarterback position. But, I can't say I didn't see this coming. Gunslinger!
Pennant race!
What an exciting race between the Dodgers and Diamondbacks for the NL West title! If these teams were in the AL East, they would be in 5th and 6th place, respectively. But whatever, Joe Torre is a genius. The playoffs are the playoffs. (And it is what it is.)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Because a little cross promotion never hurt anybody...
Okay, so here's a link to another blog, on which I link to a funny name of an NY Times writer. 3 degrees of separation to Charles M. Blow is a lot, but I think it's worth the laugh, especially considering the man's field of expertise.
And thanks for posting my letter Czabe...I knew you'd appreciate it!
And thanks for posting my letter Czabe...I knew you'd appreciate it!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
2008 NFL Preview
After spending much of the offseason making fun of Sports Illustrated for picking the Giants to finish last in the NFC East in 2007, I realized, in a rare moment of humility that predicting an NFL season might be more difficult than it looks. So this year, for the first time, I will predict the NFL season, with full records and playoff results. Plus this gives all of you a chance to make fun of me.
No, I did not just copy this off of Madden NFL 2009 (because I don't have it). No, I didn't just copy this off of Tecmo Super Bowl. And yes, I made sure all the regular season records add up to 256 wins and 256 losses. In fact, I also include division records on the whole as I feel it's important to predict the overall strength of a division, as these teams will be playing each other the most, and therefore will show how tough their level of competition is.
Without further delay, here we go:
AFC
EAST
Patriots 11-5
Jets 10-6*
Bills 8-8
Dolphins 7-9
TOTAL: 36-28
The Patriots, no longer able to cheat, lose 5 more regular season games than last year...but still squeak by for the best record in a much improved division. The Jets were better even before Favre was added (Faneca, Pace, Woody, Gholston, Keller, Jenkins). Pennington is solid for Miami. Marshawn Lynch leads the AFC in rushing, as well as hit-and-runs.
NORTH
Steelers 11-5
Browns 9-7
Bengals 6-10
Ravens 5-11
TOTAL: 31-33
Steelers as always are tough and consistent. Browns offense again lights it up, but they just miss the playoffs due again to a poor defense. Bengals top their own NFL record for arrests. Ravens become the latest team to unretire Vinny Testaverde because they have no QB.
SOUTH
Colts 12-4
Jaguars 11-5*
Texans 7-9
Titans 6-10
TOTAL: 36-28
Colts and Jags battle it out all season, as usual. I was close to picking the Jaguars to win it, but until that happens I can't go against the Colts. Mario Williams dominates for the Texans, making those who instead wanted Reggie Bush or Matt Leinart eat their words even more. Vince Young finishes the year with a QB rating lower than Pamela Anderson's IQ, but is again defended for "having no weapons."
WEST
Chargers 10-6
Raiders 7-9
Broncos 7-9
Chiefs 6-10
TOTAL: 30-34
No one really impresses me here, but the Raiders will be the most improved of the group. I sort of give the division to the Chargers by default, but they will struggle with a hobbled all-pro (and all-chemical) pass rusher Shawn Merriman.
NFC
EAST
Cowboys 11-5
Giants 10-6*
Eagles 10-6*
Redskins 7-9
TOTAL: 38-26
Along with the AFC East and AFC South, I consider this the best division in the league. 3 teams go to the playoffs, and the Redskins are competitive. The Giants sorely miss Strahan and Umenyiora, but Eli Manning picks up where he leaves off and has an MVP caliber season.
NORTH
Vikings 10-6
Packers 10-6
Lions 8-8
Bears 5-11
TOTAL: 33-31
With a full season of good health, Adrian Peterson leads the NFC in rushing and gives the Vikings the edge they need, as they win the division with a tie-breaker over the Packers. Confused Green Bay fans don't know whether to love or hate Aaron Rodgers. The Bears just miss out on signing Vinny, so turn to Doug Flutie to rescue them from the Orton/Grossman carousel.
SOUTH
Panthers 10-6
Saints 9-7
Buccaneers 9-7
Falcons 4-12
TOTAL: 32-32
These teams are all kind of boring so I don't know what to write about them.
WEST
Seahawks 6-10
Cardinals 6-10
Rams 5-11
49ers 3-13
TOTAL: 20-44
Yes, this will be the worst division of all-time. (In any sport - even counting this year's NL West in baseball.) The only reason I give the Seahawks and Cardinals 6 wins, is because they get to play each other, as well as the Rams and 49ers, twice each. Again a division is decided by a tiebreaker, though the NFL is reluctant to let anyone from this division into the postseason.
PLAYOFFS!???
Wild Card Round:
Jets over Patriots (Favre: 5 TDs - gunslinger!)
Jaguars over Chargers
Giants over Seahawks
Eagles over Panthers
Divisional Round:
Colts over Jets (Favre: 5 INTs - gunslinger!)
Jaguars over Steelers
Cowboys over Eagles
Giants over Vikings
Championship Round:
Colts over Jaguars
Giants over Cowboys (Romo: 2 INTs, 3 mishandled FG holds)
Super Bowl:
Colts over Giants (Manning Bowl! Mr. and Mrs. Manning are shown 327 times during the 3 hour game broadcast.)
So there it is, I've got my story straight. And I promise not to change anything when it's week 4 and all of this is obviously wrong.
No, I did not just copy this off of Madden NFL 2009 (because I don't have it). No, I didn't just copy this off of Tecmo Super Bowl. And yes, I made sure all the regular season records add up to 256 wins and 256 losses. In fact, I also include division records on the whole as I feel it's important to predict the overall strength of a division, as these teams will be playing each other the most, and therefore will show how tough their level of competition is.
Without further delay, here we go:
AFC
EAST
Patriots 11-5
Jets 10-6*
Bills 8-8
Dolphins 7-9
TOTAL: 36-28
The Patriots, no longer able to cheat, lose 5 more regular season games than last year...but still squeak by for the best record in a much improved division. The Jets were better even before Favre was added (Faneca, Pace, Woody, Gholston, Keller, Jenkins). Pennington is solid for Miami. Marshawn Lynch leads the AFC in rushing, as well as hit-and-runs.
NORTH
Steelers 11-5
Browns 9-7
Bengals 6-10
Ravens 5-11
TOTAL: 31-33
Steelers as always are tough and consistent. Browns offense again lights it up, but they just miss the playoffs due again to a poor defense. Bengals top their own NFL record for arrests. Ravens become the latest team to unretire Vinny Testaverde because they have no QB.
SOUTH
Colts 12-4
Jaguars 11-5*
Texans 7-9
Titans 6-10
TOTAL: 36-28
Colts and Jags battle it out all season, as usual. I was close to picking the Jaguars to win it, but until that happens I can't go against the Colts. Mario Williams dominates for the Texans, making those who instead wanted Reggie Bush or Matt Leinart eat their words even more. Vince Young finishes the year with a QB rating lower than Pamela Anderson's IQ, but is again defended for "having no weapons."
WEST
Chargers 10-6
Raiders 7-9
Broncos 7-9
Chiefs 6-10
TOTAL: 30-34
No one really impresses me here, but the Raiders will be the most improved of the group. I sort of give the division to the Chargers by default, but they will struggle with a hobbled all-pro (and all-chemical) pass rusher Shawn Merriman.
NFC
EAST
Cowboys 11-5
Giants 10-6*
Eagles 10-6*
Redskins 7-9
TOTAL: 38-26
Along with the AFC East and AFC South, I consider this the best division in the league. 3 teams go to the playoffs, and the Redskins are competitive. The Giants sorely miss Strahan and Umenyiora, but Eli Manning picks up where he leaves off and has an MVP caliber season.
NORTH
Vikings 10-6
Packers 10-6
Lions 8-8
Bears 5-11
TOTAL: 33-31
With a full season of good health, Adrian Peterson leads the NFC in rushing and gives the Vikings the edge they need, as they win the division with a tie-breaker over the Packers. Confused Green Bay fans don't know whether to love or hate Aaron Rodgers. The Bears just miss out on signing Vinny, so turn to Doug Flutie to rescue them from the Orton/Grossman carousel.
SOUTH
Panthers 10-6
Saints 9-7
Buccaneers 9-7
Falcons 4-12
TOTAL: 32-32
These teams are all kind of boring so I don't know what to write about them.
WEST
Seahawks 6-10
Cardinals 6-10
Rams 5-11
49ers 3-13
TOTAL: 20-44
Yes, this will be the worst division of all-time. (In any sport - even counting this year's NL West in baseball.) The only reason I give the Seahawks and Cardinals 6 wins, is because they get to play each other, as well as the Rams and 49ers, twice each. Again a division is decided by a tiebreaker, though the NFL is reluctant to let anyone from this division into the postseason.
PLAYOFFS!???
Wild Card Round:
Jets over Patriots (Favre: 5 TDs - gunslinger!)
Jaguars over Chargers
Giants over Seahawks
Eagles over Panthers
Divisional Round:
Colts over Jets (Favre: 5 INTs - gunslinger!)
Jaguars over Steelers
Cowboys over Eagles
Giants over Vikings
Championship Round:
Colts over Jaguars
Giants over Cowboys (Romo: 2 INTs, 3 mishandled FG holds)
Super Bowl:
Colts over Giants (Manning Bowl! Mr. and Mrs. Manning are shown 327 times during the 3 hour game broadcast.)
So there it is, I've got my story straight. And I promise not to change anything when it's week 4 and all of this is obviously wrong.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Another one of my special reminders
As the 2008 NFL season approaches, it's easy to forget the recent past. So I would like to once again point out that last season the Giants won the Super Bowl. Also, the Patriots were caught cheating, and they lost the one Super Bowl they didn't try to cheat in.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Carl Pavano is awesome
Carl Pavano yesterday won his first start for the Yankees in 16 months. Is it time yet to take back everything I said here? All right, maybe it's still a bit early for that. With the hole the Yanks are in, he's going to have to win a lot more games this season to make a difference.
Yes, I just linked to myself above. And yes, I stole the Yes I just linked to myself concept from my friend Mike.
Yes, I just linked to myself above. And yes, I stole the Yes I just linked to myself concept from my friend Mike.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Life imitates Seinfeld, part II
Friend, reader, and 1066 Football 2nd all-time leading receiver Scott raised such a provocative question, that the scenario deserves revisiting: So who/what is the giant ball of oil in this situation?
Well Scott, the giant ball of oil represents the glob of interceptions that Brett Favre will throw this season. Kramer and his intern represent Jets management, as they have dropped the giant ball of oil from high up in the building. And that ball is headed right for an unsuspecting Eric Mangini's head...
Well Scott, the giant ball of oil represents the glob of interceptions that Brett Favre will throw this season. Kramer and his intern represent Jets management, as they have dropped the giant ball of oil from high up in the building. And that ball is headed right for an unsuspecting Eric Mangini's head...
Thursday, August 7, 2008
"Coles must have ran the wrong route on that play..."
I have to say, I am going to miss Chad Pennington. He didn't have a lot of arm strength, thus his abilities were limited, but the Jets had a couple of great runs with him, and he was a good guy throughout. The team has never had a hotter stretch than they did in the second half of the 2002 season, and in 2004 he led a team that could have gone to the Super Bowl (sandbagged by Doug Brien's missed regulation ending and overtime FGs in Pittsburgh). Sure, he never won a championship, but he was "our guy."
Now, the Jets have traded for a quarterback who isn't "our guy." At least, he's not my guy, buddy. Brett Favre is the opposite of Chad Pennington. He has the arm strength that Pennington does not, but he doesn't make good decisions, and thinks he's bigger than the team. I don't want to sound too much like the police chief in any 1980s cop movie, but he's reckless. The Jets made signings to drastically improve the team last offseason (Faneca, Pace, Woody, Jenkins), and were going to be better no matter what. But now if they do go to the playoffs, I think we'll see the credit go to Favre. If they lose though, we know what's coming...30 interceptions being excused away with "He's a gunslinger," "He's just trying to win," and "{Jets intended receiver} must have ran the wrong route."
The 2008 New York Jets will be quite a circus.
Now, the Jets have traded for a quarterback who isn't "our guy." At least, he's not my guy, buddy. Brett Favre is the opposite of Chad Pennington. He has the arm strength that Pennington does not, but he doesn't make good decisions, and thinks he's bigger than the team. I don't want to sound too much like the police chief in any 1980s cop movie, but he's reckless. The Jets made signings to drastically improve the team last offseason (Faneca, Pace, Woody, Jenkins), and were going to be better no matter what. But now if they do go to the playoffs, I think we'll see the credit go to Favre. If they lose though, we know what's coming...30 interceptions being excused away with "He's a gunslinger," "He's just trying to win," and "{Jets intended receiver} must have ran the wrong route."
The 2008 New York Jets will be quite a circus.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Again, life imitates Seinfeld
This Brett Favre saga is beginning to look more and more like the Seinfeld episode when George worked for "Play Now" and his stand-off with management kept escalating, with each party calling the other's bluff. First, Favre is caught in his lie (Favre's lie being that he was going to stay retired…George's lie being that he was handicapped). Then, the company tries to give away the employee's most precious possession (Packers commit to Rodgers as the starter…Play Now gives away George's private bathroom). I'm surprised the Packers have not changed the locks to the gates to training camp, as Play Now locked George out of his office. I don't know what's next, but I simply say, "Sit back and enjoy the show folks." The more uncomfortable this thing gets for everyone involved, the more fun it will be for the rest of us.
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