Why I don't have facebook

Facebook has taken the internet by storm over the past couple years. Everybody's doing it. Your boss, your grandma, everybody. ("Stan, why didn't you friend your grandma?") It's essentially the same thing as myspace (more on that later), but I used this transition period of the herd moving from myspace to facebook, as the perfect way to quietly slip out of the social networking business. I love the freedom and privacy, and I don't plan on coming back. Many people ask me why I'm not on it though, and I feel it deserves mentioning here. Not only as a personal explanation, but as a service to those who might be on the fence.

I know I'm out on a limb here. This isn't like saying "Brees is better than Manning," where most people can see both sides and it's maybe a 60% majority I'm going against. While I'm aware that there are people - wise people - who are leaving by the thousands, I know I'm part of about 10% vs. 90%.

So here we go! First, a couple disclaimers:

*Didn't you used to have a myspace?

Yes, and I don't regret it. That was a nice little two year era that helped me pass time while working weekend overnights before I got a house, a job with more responsibility, and in general a busier life. I won't go all the way and say I don't have any time for it - but I don't have as much free time anymore, and certainly not enough to where I'd want to spend it on facebook.

*What about this very blog?

There is a vast difference between a (mostly) sports blog, and facebook - in privacy levels (notice there are no full names, photos, birthdates, or other personal information anywhere to be found here), and in time commitment (with 4-6 posts a month, I admittedly don't devote as much time to this as I could). Failure to recognize the difference would be to fall victim to what the logic community calls a line drawing fallacy; they're not the same, and it isn't an "all or nothing" proposition.

Speaking of myspace, I find it hilarious when someone who is currently all about facebook, will go out of his or her way to rip myspace and say how stupid and worthless it is. I'm afraid this is common in human nature - it's easiest to condemn something that you yourself have overcome...or something you feel are in no danger of doing yourself. Like the insecure person who says, "Not only am I not gay...I hate gays!" Again, this isn't everyone, or even the majority of social network users, but I've heard it enough that it resonates with me. Where will these folks go when the next big site comes along? I bet they'll leave facebook for it, then talk about how lame facebook is/was.

Now, my friends and family don't really use facebook in the narcissistic "Hey everybody, look at me!" way, so I'm going to skip that argument here. But another problem I have is that many seem to feel facebook can take the place of real communication. Social networking communication can be misinterpreted, or missed altogether. A couple weeks ago I had a friend who wanted to put an event together. Whereas he used to email me personally, this time he only sent it via facebook, perhaps thinking it's now his "one-stop-shop" for friend communication. It did get to my girlfriend, but she misunderstood what it was. So if it wasn't for the fact that I called him on the phone out of the blue last week - something friends actually used to do - I may have missed the event altogether.

Still don't accept my reasons? How about this: Facebook owns everything you post...forever...even if you take it down. I don't know about you, but that gives me the willies.

If you're my friend, I hope you'll respect my desire to not have facebook. Please communicate with me directly - I don't care so much whether it's by email, phone, text, or singing telegram...just don't assume facebook is the only way to communicate anymore. I'll never say never, but I can safely say I won't be joining unless I can find a way to make it comfortable for me - such as by using an alias, by creating a page as a different person altogether, like movie hero Zap Rowsdower, or by simply not sharing enough information that it's all a good hacker needs to steal my identity. But it's still a long shot.

Thanks for reading, and happy facebooking. By the way, it saddens me that "facebooking" is used as a verb...