Cardinals Memes

It's time to check back in with the kindest, most gentle, and most knowledgeable fan base in all of sports!

When I think Minions, I think Arizona Cardinals.  You just can't separate the two.  It's always fun to see fictional characters used presumably without permission...not unlike the phenomenon of depicting Calvin peeing on all kinds of logos.  

The entire country roots for the Cardinals.  You can't travel to any state without it being Cardinals Country!  (Though Alaska is pictured and Hawaii isn't, so do with that what you will.)  Arizona Cardinals:  The real America's Team.

Well I'm stumped; the logic is air-tight.  Take that, Tom Brady...and also MLB, I guess.

Literally stomp his head and kill him!  At the moment of this screen shot the 49ers have 12,000 points while the Cardinals have none...but that's about to change in a big way.

For being obsessed with the 49ers (their "rival" - along with the Cowboys, Seahawks, Patriots, and Steelers...and heck, the Spurs and Lakers, because why not?), they sure pretend they don't know who the 49ers are a lot.

Remember Jerry Maguire?  Of course you do!  So here is a meme that has no application to the movie and makes no sense. 

An accurate depiction of a field goal attempt. 

On Going Double-Contrarian

There are certain things in life that become popular enough, that you want to push back against them.  For instance, I have a friend who grew up in the middle of Dallas Cowboys country, and became a Redskins fan to be different.  

Allow me to introduce you then to the concept of going double-contrarian.  On a not-yet-released Sports Limelight episode that Drew and I pre-recorded (nod to George Carlin here - "When else are you going to pre-record it, afterwards!?"), we discuss things we like, which aren't the most popular amongst our peers, mainly in sports and music.  I ask Drew if he's ever gone the double-contrarian route in liking something, and I give the example of Tim Tebow.  Tebow's meteoric rise led to a group of haters pushing back against what they deemed to be an inordinate amount of hype.  (Let's put aside the off-field agenda of these folks who were anti-Tebow for a different reason; I am referring strictly to football.)  However, in a double-contrarian play, I therefore became a big Tebow fan, to push back against the Tebow haters. 

Another example, from South Park, was when Stan asked the three goth kids to join his dance troop.  The first two refused, citing how "conformist" it would be to join a dance troop...then the third says that he's such a non-conformist, that he won't conform with the first two, and will join the dance troop.  So I guess I'm often that third goth kid.  

This year, I've found another place where I feel good about going double-contrarian: Christmas music.  Like comedians doing bits about airline food, or the old workplace joke that the ladies of the staff often win the office football pool by choosing teams at random, I think the whole "whining that Christmas music is played too early" thing is so played out, that it's downright hackneyed.  So I say, give me Christmas music all year 'round!  

Yeah, try to never do this in sports

 I was hesitant to post something like this, because I didn't want to give it any more attention than it deserves.  But I am doing so - not just to ridicule, but also to make a call to all fans of all teams, to hold each other accountable. For my part, I try to condemn any time something low is done on Giants fans' behalf, such as calling the Cowboys the "Cowgirls," or changing one letter in Tony Romo's name to turn it into an insult.  We're better than that as fans, and the Giants are better than that as a team (save for Week 1).  

Okay, disclaimer up...

Oh, so much to take in.  Where to begin?

*Neither the Joker in general, nor specifically Heath Ledger's remarkable performance of the character in The Dark Knight, has anything to do with the Arizona Cardinals.  The team's mascot is a small red bird.  (Although, a friend I showed this poster to, remarked that the Joker is fitting because the Cardinals are a joke, so that is duely noted.)  Sure, I get it, because "Cards," but again, that isn't short for "Playing Cards" in this case.  This is like shortening "Panthers" to "Ants" and representing them with the characters from A Bug's Life.

"Cardinals Fan...Yes I Am!"

"Fan" and "am" don't rhyme.  I feel like I'm being asked to accept that it does.  Also, this couldn't be more opposite of the tone of the rest of what is going on here.  "Cardinals fan, yes I am!" is something a happy-go-lucky 7 year old is meant to chant.  Guy Who Made This, you kind of compromised your theme of anger; It seems like you just wanted to combine everything you've ever heard about the Cardinals into one thing.  Next time maybe make two separate posters, and put this phrase in the other one.

"F{cardinalslogo}CK THE REST"

Strangely standoffish for a fan of a franchise that the overwhelming majority of fans of other teams, are apathetic about.  Also, representing your team with implied profanity is always a good decision.  This part mainly just makes me sad, so let's move on.

"BIRDGANG"

Along with the overall tone of this picture - minus the cute near-rhyme of course - the term "birdgang" does nothing to dispel the stereotype about Cardinals fans, which says that, besides people who don't know much about football, and/or people who only root for them because they feel obligated to support the team who plays their home games geographically closest to where they live, Cardinals fans is a group largely made up of gang bangers who wanted a different team to root for than the Raiders. 


I'm not going to go as far as to say that something like this encourages or incites fan violence.   But it sure doesn't encourage or incite peace.

Stay classy, Cardinals fan.

Tired

No, this post isn't about the Foo Fighters' 2002 song "Tired Of You" featuring a guitar track contribution from Brian May. (By the way, their new album is terrific if you haven't heard it yet.) Rather, I wonder which is a more tired joke at this point: Charlie Sheen, or Donald Trump? In fact, if someone was to combine the two subjects, he'd have one unstoppable, worn out super-joke! I'm looking in your direction, Jay Leno. "Ehhh, Charlie Sheen in the news again, have you heard about this, have you seen this? He said Obama's birth certificate is WINNING!" {Audience cheers mindlessly}

Also, if I can get on the record on Trump, I believe his "birther" angle was a work. He's actually on President Obama's side, and wants him re-elected. What better way than to portray Obama's opponents as stupid as possible? He played right into the exact stereotype of that tiny minority of conservatives that make the vast majority of conservatives shake their heads in embarrassment. (If you even want to count the birther movement as "conservative" in nature - I don't, but whatever.) See, if I want to make Cowboys fans look bad (as if they needed help), I don't just wear a Giants jersey and list logical reasons why Cowboys fans are not good...I wear a Cowboys jersey, and do the most idiotic thing I can, like kick a bunch of kittens or something.

On being at peace with fandom

What a turnaround the Giants have had. It's hard to believe that less than two months ago, this same team suffered two consecutive "rock bottom" losses to the Colts and Titans. Since then, they've looked dominant and almost unstoppable.

I have no good transition here, so I'll just say this is where I shift the focus to my own fandom. I have a self-created problem that I've never had in any other sport. I've been a Yankees fan since I was a young child, when they were awful. I never strayed. I don't really have an NBA team or a hockey team. And I have not much more than a passing interest in college sports. However, when it comes to the NFL, after having dated three teams over the course of my life, I still didn't feel quite right about calling myself a Giants fan. I didn't feel like I had earned it. Until this weekend.

First, some background. You'll recall here over two years ago when I pledged my full allegiance to the Giants. Re-reading it now, I don't even like my tone there - too much negativity about the Jets, rather than what I liked about the Giants.

The team of my childhood was the Giants. In 1990 they captivated me at age 9 with what was, until January 2008 of course, the greatest Super Bowl ever. I vaguely recall awareness of the 49ers-Bengals Super Bowl being on TV two years earlier, but this was the first sporting event I vividly remember watching. But then Bill Parcells retired, the Giants had some down years, and I began to look elsewhere. I flirted with the team of my father and grandfather, the Steelers. And quite honestly I'll always have a soft spot for them, thanks mostly to that side of my family, and to watching NFL Films make the Steelers dynasty of the 70s appear magical and larger than life. I was genuinely happy for them when they won Super Bowls XL and XLIII. In 1997, I came over to the Jets with Parcells. I thought it was okay at the time. I didn't ask any fellow Giants fans about it - or maybe I didn't want to know - but that's what I did. I had great years with the Jets. Curtis Martin is still my favorite player of all time, and I don't regret the time I spent rooting for him. But when Curtis retired, and the joyless Eric Mangini era began, I knew my time was finished there. They weren't really my Jets anymore. The change didn't happen overnight, but when they jettisoned Chad Pennington for the ol' Dongslinger, that tipped the scale for good.

Anyway, back to my realization. It began on Friday, when I presented my lady friend with a series of complicated options on how we could juggle visits to both our parents' houses but not miss the Giants-Seahawks game. (This wasn't really so she wouldn't miss the game...this was so I wouldn't miss the game.) I then realized, if I care this much about not missing a single snap of this game, I truly deserve to believe I'm a fan without feeling unworthy. I'm living it.

Sure, you can go through photos of me over the years, and see me wearing apparel for three different teams. But I'm okay with it now. This is about the present. Don't be afraid to love again! (Okay, so maybe I couldn't help but gay it up just a little.)

And on another poorly transitioned note, I wouldn't be surprised if Super Bowl XLII - again, the greatest victory in the history of sports - creates an entire generation of Giants fans the way the mid to late 1970s created an entire generation of Steelers fans. Super Bowl XLII was that powerful for me, and I was 26. If that's your first strong memory of football as a lad of maybe 8 or 9 years, how can you not love that?

Is this the (sports) world we created?

(Yes, that's another Queen reference in the title, if you're scoring at home.)

I'm going to come clean. I had this next thing in the cue for a while. But I didn't know how to present it in a kind or meaningful way. It's a clip from the Associated Press, of Arizona Cardinals fans reacting to the team losing the Super Bowl. 

 

Obviously my first instinct was mockery and sarcasm. (Hey, old habits die hard.) I was going to focus on the last guy, from the 31 second mark forward - the "I am so frustrated with this!" guy - and present a multiple choice question speculating what exactly the "this" is that he is "so frustrated with." I had it narrowed down to the following options:

a) an inflated sense of entitlement
b) a lack of upper body muscle definition
c) the fact that there are people who root for a team other than his
d) the unhealthy level of personal importance he places on the Arizona Cardinals winning a football game, and how it makes him feel

In seriousness though, I have more to say on this. As I mentioned earlier, I want to make this post meaningful, and maybe even redeeming. And I think I know how. I will start by again addressing the last guy. But instead of mocking him, I've just got two words for him...

Thank you.

Thank you for showing us what we should never become. Thank you for showing us how ugly we can allow ourselves to look, and for giving us motivation to never want to look like that in front of friends or loved ones - let alone in front of a camera.

At this point let me clarify something. I am not saying that only Cardinals fans behave like this, nor am I picking on them in particular. It would be silly to think that, for instance, no Browns or Lions fans in the past 50+ years, or Jets fans in the past 40 years, or Raiders fans in the past 25 years, etc., have ever angrily exclaimed "I am so frustrated with this," or looked bad on TV.

And on a positive note, the 3rd guy, at the 20 second mark, put things into proper perspective. "My heart is hurting a little bit but I'm still happy because the Cardinals showed they are a true team. Character, spirit, they fought strong 'till the end." That is a person who approaches sports in a healthy way, and I'd even say I'd like to watch a game with him sometime. Sure, that was only one guy out of five, but in fairness I am aware the AP had the ability to "cherry-pick" the clips to use, so I would be unfair to estimate or generalize with regards to percentages of folks who have it right.

Now to the larger issue of sportsmanship. Much like the time I truly questioned people's ability to laugh anymore, I am now truly questioning people's ability to handle their team losing anymore. In other countries people die over soccer far too frequently. I don't know if things here in America are any better or worse than they were in past generations, but I certainly hope we realize that sports just aren't that important. Yes, my blog is about mostly sports, but it comes with an obvious underlying axiom. Or at least I hope it's obvious. That axiom is, "Sports are not important in the overall picture."

A perfect example of an underlying axiom comes from one of my favorite forms of entertainment: Wrestling. When two wrestling fans have a discussion, they both know wrestling is scripted. But of course they don't need to say that every time. If they did, you'd have conversations like the following:
Lenny: "I know wrestling is scripted, but I like the way they've set up this Triple H vs. Randy Orton angle."
Carl: "I know wrestling is scripted too, but I am looking forward to seeing if Shawn Michaels will end the Undertaker's undefeated streak at Wrestlemania."

Likewise, with sports fandom, if you had to say what should be understood from the start, it would sound like this:

Lenny: "Sports are not important, and we have way more important things to worry about in the world, like our families who need our love and support, the war in Iraq, and the economic crisis...and I think the Bears gave up too much for Jay Cutler."
Carl: "Sports are not important, and we have way more important things to worry about in the world, like our families who need our love and support, the war in Iraq, and the economic crisis...and I disagree, I think the Bears got a good deal in this trade."

So this brings me back to the "I am so frustrated with this!" guy. How would you respond to him? All you have to do is remind him of any one of a few specific, simple facts. Again, in multiple choice format:

a) It's only a game
b) No one is dying because of the result
c) The Cardinals don't pay you enough to feel this way
d) (If applicable) Go home to your wife and/or children, they need your best

And just like my first multiple choice question, I feel any one of these answers are acceptable.

Super Bowl Preview continued: A Contrast in Fanhood

I just this morning finished watching the tape of the Steelers-Ravens AFC Championship matchup, having been out and about at times during the game. I have always known Steelers fans to be the best of all NFL fan bases. This was only confirmed when an injured Willis McGahee was being brought into the tunnel, amongst Steelers' faithful, and the CBS microphones were on. Usually this would be a nervous moment for any TV network, as who knows what any one random fan will yell. But everything I could make out being yelled by Steelers fans at that moment, were things like "Good luck buddy," and "Get well." Who knows what a random Raiders fan, Eagles fan, Browns fan, or Cardinals fan, would have yelled at that moment.

Speaking of Cardinals fans, we have this tidbit of news from this morning. Classy! Who says the locals couldn't sink any lower than during the 2007 NLCS, when hundreds of Diamondback fans threw garbage onto the field to protest a questionable umpire call while their team was being beaten by a superior Rockies team? I like how the guy on the right of the two mugshot photos, was allowed to keep his Cardinals hat on for his big moment. Sweet goatee too. The year 1999 called, it wants its beard style back. (Also, the Jerk Store called...)

Welcome to Giantland!

What a day it's been! I was just informed that my papers went through. I'm thrilled about my new home! That's right, my application for political asylum in New York Giants fanhood was accepted. It is awesome to be on board.

And to think, this happens mere hours after the New York Jets, my old professional football home (a very abusive home at that), suffered their most embarassing loss in franchise history. I wouldn't say it was the worst game purely in terms of poor play, as approximately 10 of the top 10 in that category are from the Rich Kotite years...but in terms of expectations, talent assembled pre-gunslinger (Pace, Jenkins, etc.), talent that was already in place, and the fact that they were playing against a team in complete disarray, and an owner who holds bizarre press conferences during which he reads letters telling his ex-coach to "get over it"...I'd say that yesterday was the most humiliating loss the franchise has ever had.
For those not familiar with the concept of football political asylum, a fan is allowed to adopt allegiance to a non-conference, geographically close team, if the conditions with his former team become so bad that the fan could no longer rationally support them. It's just science, people. Now, the fan does reserve the right to return to his former team, but only when those conditions measurably improve. With the Jets, for instance, I assume this time will not come until a change at quarterback is made.

I think when all is said and done, the 2008 Jets will be proof that you can't play "fantasy football" with an NFL roster. As I mentioned earlier, the team was assembled in the offseason with key components to help them win. The pieces all fit. In August, things looked promising for the Jets. They appeared poised for a good season with Chad Pennington and an offensive line, running game, and receivers who could work with his strengths and weaknesses. Then, the Jets tried to plug in a quarterback who was over the hill, terribly mistake-prone, and didn't really want to be there. I knew this was how it was going to go, but to my credit as the patient, level-headed fan I am, I gave the experiment a fair chance. I still think the Jets will make the playoffs, and I stick to that prediction...but it's clear their quarterback will never give them the two decent performances in a row necessary to defeat two very good teams in the postseason.